I remember being pregnant, fearing how lonely the journey would be. I didn’t have my ‘tribe’ of mothers everyone talked about. I didn’t have those ‘mom nights’ planned out. Sadly, those are just two reasons moms end up suffering from overwhelm!
Want to know what else is sad? So many of us just accept this way of mothering! We give up on trying to fight it and accept that ‘this is just part of motherhood”.
And although it may be a season we all go through eventually, it DOES NOT need to be our normal. So stick with me as we work through the overwhelm together, because we will get through it, alright, mama?
- 1 Signs you’re an overwhelmed mom
- 2 Reasons for the burn out
- 3 How do I stop being overwhelmed as a mom & how can I manage the burnout?
Signs you’re an overwhelmed mom
You know, the feeling of absolute depletion. When you truly just have nothing left to give because you can’t handle any more stress.
It’s those long days where your little one is unsatisfied with everything. They won’t stop crying, yet won’t let you walk away.
You have to be their emotional umbrella to help them deal with their feelings while yours stay locked up for hours, sometimes days, until you’re able to let it all out.
If that sounds familiar to you, you could be burnt out from motherhood.
It also sounds like you’re coping with some bad mental health days
Some more day to day signs to pay attention to include:
“Why am I the angry mom?”
- Mom Rage — constantly snapping and lashing out at your kids, spouse, family, and sometimes, even your friends!
- ALWAYS Tired — No matter how much sleep you get, you’re still exhausted.
- You’re extra forgetful — Is your mind running on so many fumes you can’t even remember why you just walked from the living room to the kitchen?
- Don’t look forward to the following day(s) — When you stop enjoying your days and time with your kids, you know you’ve got a case of burnout on your hands!
Reasons for the burn out
You might be wondering, “How did I even get to this point” right about now.
It’s pretty simple, you’re exhausted, overworked, don’t have enough support, probably not getting enough self-care and have yourself set as dead last on the list of “things to do today”.
I honestly think at some point, we all will experience this. I know it hit me hard, especially as a new overwhelmed mom dealing with postpartum anxiety. That really magnified all those toxic feelings of needing to be perfect and needing to just ‘do it all’ without any help.
But it doesn’t have to be that way mama, there is light at the end of the tunnel and if you keep reading below, you will find practical ways you can BEAT the mom burnout and stop feeling so overwhelmed!
Why am I such a stressed mom again?
1# The mental load – Not every family is a mum and a dad. And not every family with a mom and a dad is like this. However, there are a lot of families that still operate under the “traditional” model of mum does everything housework related and dad helps out. The unbelievably viral “You Should Have Asked” hit the nail on the head. Women don’t want to have to ask for help.
Luckily, acknowledging the “mental load” or “emotional labour” has become far more common than it once was.
How do I stop being overwhelmed as a mom & how can I manage the burnout?
I wish I could tell you that the road to feeling less overwhelmed and burnt out was an easy one, but it’s not.
Like any kind of mental health road block, it will take a lot of time, patience and consistency on your end (as if you have any more energy to give, right?!).
But if you want to move on to enjoy your days again & be the BEST version of yourself for YOU, YOUR KIDS & YOUR PARTNER, try implementing these tips below:
- Start setting boundaries — Just because you have 24 hours in a day doesn’t mean you need to use them all catering to everyone else. You DON’T always need to say yes, especially when certain tasks can wait.
- Find an outlet for yourself — It’s important to remember that you are more than just a mom! And that person, the one beyond motherhood, has individual needs that must be met! Find your outlet, one that is exclusive to you, and make it a point to make is a non-negotiable task AT LEAST once/week!
- Build your mom tribe — Just because you don’t have that close-knit group of mom friends right now, doesn’t mean it has to be that way forever! Start more conversations with other moms, invite some over for a day-date that way your kids can play and you can enjoy a cup of coffee plus a good chat!
- Stop trying to be perfect — There is no such thing as a perfect mom. And even if there was, you don’t need to strive for perfection. Take small steps and begin letting things that really don’t matter go!
- ASK FOR HELP — To reiterate the point above, you don’t need to be perfect. And asking for help doesn’t make you any less of a mom for acknowledging that sometimes, we just need some help! Plus, think of what a great lesson and model you’re setting for your children by showing them that it’s 100% ok to be vulnerable and need a hand at times!
- Practice affirmations and self love— For most of us, we fall into the trap of only paying attention to the negative thoughts. The things we ‘couldn’t’ or ‘didn’t’ do. So forget all that. Today, you will focus on complimenting yourself for what YOU DID DO. Praise yourself for your hard work, and start reminding yourself what a great mother you are!
If there’s just ONE thing you took away from this post, I hope it’s that you’re a great mama who needs to remind herself of that, even on the days you have doubts. You got this!